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So Long Ago

February 15, 2020

If you presently have a FB page or you had one in the past, you are familiar with the memories posts that just so happen to show up! Well today happened to be one of those days for me. This photo showed up and I don’t usually share the memories posts, but today I felt compelled to do so. Not only did I repost it on FB, but I also sent it to my daughter with the caption, “gosh, I was gorgeous!” As I sent that to her, I realized that I truly wish that the person in that photo believed that at that time. Instead, I, yes, me, was just coming out of an extremely toxic relationship and hating a lot of the decisions that I was making. I wasn’t happy with myself, and the choices that I was making. I was in a job that I really didn’t like, but it was quick cash. I was helping a family member out with getting their photography business started and since I use to model, I figured, why not.

What I truly find fascinating is the truth of so many things with that one photo. FB can many times, be Fakebook…society has a tendency to put out there what will get them the most likes, what appears to be a quick ego boost when in fact, what is showing isn’t even remotely close to who they are or what is actually happening in their life. Looking at that photo, I am reminded of how far I have come. I was extremely insecure, I had such poor self-body image on so many levels and ultimately, it had nothing to do with the exterior, when in fact, it had everything to do with the interior. Do I still have poor self-body image at times now? Of course I do, I am human, but not nearly to the extreme of what that woman in that photo did. The biggest truth that I see from that photo tho is that I never appreciated who I was at that particular given moment. I either compared myself to what I use to look like or to someone who was completely stripped down and photo shopped to be who society thought they should be, instead of just loving who reflected back to me in the mirror. When you are finished reading this, if any of my words resonated with you on any level, take a moment, look in the mirror and tell that person reflecting back to you how wonderful, beautiful and amazing they are. Be sure to tell them that you love them and you appreciate who they are at this blessed-given moment.

I make a point of doing that now…I have aged 8 years since that photo, my hair has changed colors, multiple times, those eyes have cried many tears for multiple reasons, the laugh lines that now exist are from extremely great times with amazing people and memories that I cherish, the so-called elevens (you know the lines above our nose between our eyebrows) are from being a mom, worrying about the health, well-being, and welfare of my children, each wrinkle that I have inherited since that photo are all for great reasons, they are all a part of my history, the reasons that I am who I am today…the exterior will fade over time, but knowing that I love what is on the inside of me is worth every wrinkle, laugh line, tear, worry-line and most importantly experience…so long ago is what I am so thankful for, because that taught me to love myself today…..Thank you FB…you made my day!!!!


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